All aboard the Polar Express

As we were waiting — all six of us — to board the Polar Express in Branson, I realized we had bitten off more than we could chew.
It was freezing temperatures, and we were outside with four tired kids on a platform crammed to bursting with other tired and cold passengers. Everybody was impatient. All the kids were hysterical with excitement. My arms were numb from trying to hold and wrangle Masen, who had had enough and was throwing the biggest tantrum of his almost 2-year-old life.
I decided, amid the mayhem, that I was done. I wanted to leave. Walk away and never come back. Our holiday intentions had blown up into our faces and we were left with an impossible mess of tears, snot and grumpy bystanders. Merry Christmas was what we intended. Bah, humbug, was how I felt.
And then Rylan had to go the bathroom.
All we could do was laugh as Matt, Bella and Rylan made the trek through throngs of people back to take care of a situation that typical toddler boys wait to the last minute to take care of.
But we survived, and an eternity later, we heard the conductor boom “All aboard!!!” — which had no magical effect on us because it was drowned out by the agonizing screams of our youngest son.
Soon we were settled into our seats, and the Polar Express story was being read over the speakers. The kids mellowed a bit after their bellies were full of hot cocoa and cookies.
Lights dazzled the outside darkness, making for an interesting ride for the pajama-clad little folks.
Excitement built again when the train made a stop at the North Pole to pick up Santa Claus and we waved at the elves, who were busy building toys and dancing to Christmas music.
Santa came by and gave each kid a sleigh bell, and the conductor made a stop to punch the kids’ first initials into their tickets.
And as Christmas carols blasted on the train speakers and I could barely hear the music over my kids’ joyous voices, I realized it was all worth it.
Despite our stress and discomfort, the children found the spirit of what the trip was intended to be. They laughed, they sang, they ate, and they smiled.
I could almost hear the memories being made and burned into their little brains. They won’t remember the cold and unbearable wait to board the train. Their memories will be filled with Christmas music, hot chocolate and Santa Claus.
Thankfully, the Christmas magic that used to live in Matt and me as children burns hot in our kids. And it’s contagious. Who could resist smiling when you’re sitting next to a child whose happy face is covered in cookie, hot cocoa and dried snot? You can’t.
I found out this last weekend I have to sit back, enjoy the train ride of life and realize that life is what you make it, and my life is good.
Merry Christmas to you all! God bless.

As seen in the Lawrence County Record
www.lawrencecountyrecord.com

And smile, smile, smile

It’s nearly 2010, and I’ve decided to be happy about it. Literally.
My New Year’s resolution is to be happy more. Smile when there’s nothing to smile about. Laugh when I want to cry. Be silent when I want to scream. In general, I want to hold back on every natural urge I have to be the out-spoken, glass-half-empty person I’ve grown to be.
You see, it seems nearly every time a New Year has gone by, I, like others who live past their youth, have found myself with more and more responsibilities. And since I’m the type who gets stressed beyond the point of helpful and despises imperfection, I’ve found myself grumpy at the ripe old age of 27.
(Pause for reaction.)
I know I know. I have nothing to be grumpy about. I have a healthy family, a farm, my own health, a job ... and the list could go on and on. But I have, since becoming the mother of four and wife of one, turned into a mission-accomplished-oriented person. I don’t handle “winging it,” and I don’t like to mess up routines. In turn, I’ve lost that crazy spirit that used to live inside.
Growing up, I was the clown in our little group. Laughing was my favorite thing, and I did plenty of it. Thankfully, my childhood was filled with many more smiles than tears and much more laughter than yelling. So why have I allowed myself to become so embittered?
Am I that unthankful? Do I really have that much relying on my actions?
Well the answer to both questions is yes. Matt and I have four souls resting on our shoulders, relying on us to carry them into their adulthood unharmed and hopefully with enough spunk not to be menaces to society.
And I was raised with the schooling of: “You’re more than capable of doing that yourself, Ginia.”
Problem is, now I’ve taken that mentality to the extreme. See, there are many things I can do by myself in this life. Most of the physical demands on my life I can handle. But all the mental stress of being a partner in this farm and in this bigger-than-most-family is something I cannot do alone.
Sure, Matt and I have each other and a very supportive extended family. But what I’ve learned in the last couple years is that I am nothing without something else. Something supernatural. An all-powerful, life-giving, need-providing source. God.
I’ve come to recognize that if I don’t lean on Him, I will crumble. If I don’t give it to Him, I will screw it up.
I’m slowly learning to daily give my troubles to the Lord (and my praises, too). It’s hard to give up control, but the more slack He takes in my reins, the more stable I feel. The more relieved I feel.
I have a safety net. I’m free to fall head-first into this beautiful life I’ve been blessed with and know that no matter what happens I’m going to be OK. Phew!
So as I embark on this New Year, I plan to work on not throwing away this gift God’s given me. I’m going to enjoy it. Responsibilities and all.
I’m going to smile.

As seen in the Lawrence County Record
www.lawrencecountyrecord.com

The sibling I always longed for

After the Civil-war era canon ball fell from the landing onto the step behind me, I realized my longtime wishes for a sibling were unfounded.
I could have lived without sharing a room as a 10-year-old with my screaming infant brother. Or the constant attention the cute little guy stole. Or just the day-to-day life of a toddler mixed with a too-cool-for-school teenage.
Yep, that day on the stairs was the physical culmination of all those years of contempt, for both of us.
His version of the story: “My sister pushed me down the wooden stairs.”
Ahhhh. And despite all of our heated battles and physical confrontations, I probably wouldn’t have sold him. He’s a perfect compliment to my dramatic side, and gave my upbringing that little extra edge of excitement, whether I liked it at the time or not.
All my friends thought he was “soo cute” and he had quite the imagination. People said he reminded them of our Grandpa Don. The personality-plus type.
I don’t know where time flew, but some time not too long ago, my little brother, Jackson, became Uncle Brett. And now he’s at least 6 feet tall. And he has lady friends. And he drives.
Age has brought forth some very different personality traits I wouldn’t have imagined for him. He’s very mellow and nice. An even-tempered guy who cares about others. Very polite and helpful. NOTHING like the animated toddler who tried to “kill” me with a canon ball.
And now that we are both “grown up,” our relationship has changed. He’s not the annoying short man who steals the spotlight from me and terrorizes my friends.
He’s the guy I call to come watch the kids when I’ve got to go to the store.
He’s the guy I make “eyes” at when Dad is being Dad.
I still categorize us both as “only children,” but our age difference has allowed us a unique relationship.
I’m still young enough I can know what he’s going through, but old enough that I’ve made some bad decisions I’m not afraid to advise him on.
Like I’ve mentioned before, Jackson’s side of the story of our life together is probably VERY different than mine. But when all is said and done, I hope he sees beyond my bosy teenage years and absent college time and sees a sister who loves him.
I’ll never forget the moment I first saw him squirming under the lamps as a newborn in the hospital. I won’t soon forget his contagious baby giggle or the stories of his toddler-hood. And I won’t forget the sound of my very grown-up baby brother reading story books to my babies.
My prayers never end without the mention of his name, and I can’t imagine what life will be like when he has a family of his own.
Yep, my life was turned upside-down back then. But who knew upside-down was the way it was always meant to be.

Mae Mae, you complete us

I never knew I needed four kids. I never knew I wanted four kids. And I was never more sure of this than after I received a positive pregnancy test a mere months after our third child was born.
But what was done was done, and Matt and I were left to deal with the aftermath, as impossible as the circumstances might have been.
And the times didn’t get any easier, because while adjusting to being outnumbered with the other wild ones, I battled first-trimester fatigue and eventually a last trimester-back problem.
But Masen came, just like the doctor had promised, in January 2008.
You’d think by my fourth time in the hospital in as many years, it would be a walk in the park. Not so with this guy. After the rocky delivery, he spent some time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and our final night in the hospital hallway waiting out tornadoes.
Oh, yes, life with four was off to a great start.
And the fun hasn’t stopped, even though we get more sleep now and the nursing phase and baby food are gone.
Challenges come in the form of taking an afternoon sprint to catch the little twinkle-toed man before he makes it to the traffic-laden road.
Or getting him off the kitchen table where he is standing.
Or redressing him after he takes off all his clothes and comes up and says, “Uh, oh!”
But little Mae Mae, our wanderer, has added an element of completeness to our brood. Our lives wouldn’t be the same without the guy who lays his entire body on top of the dog and rubs his face into his fur. Gotta love it.
There are very few grown-ups who are so content and happy with just waking up, eating and playing.
And I know he will grow out of it, the other three did. But for right now, since we’re done having babies and I can bask in the happenings of daily life, relishing the little things with my little guy, I plan to be content.
I try to absorb his enthusiasm and store it away in a hidden place to use again some day when my kids are all teenagers and happy smiles are few and far between.
This time in our life when our children are 5, 3, 2 and 1 is precious and irreplaceable.
And so as I hear our fourth and final child run with the little pitter-patter that is unique to him, I can think back on the moment when I first found out he was coming. Life seemed impossible.
But now that the impossibility and I have survived nearly two years, I can’t imagine a life with only three.

As seen in the Lawrence County Record www.lawrencecountyrecord.com

Shopping 101

Want to go grocery shopping?
If you said no, then this is the column for you. Your friendly neighborhood cheapskate mother of four is here to motivate you to spend less time and less money on your edible necessities.
I know, you are shaking your head, debating on whether to read on. But do. Keep reading. Hopefully, I’ll share some of my weird, pragmatic ideas on this seemingly mundane task and make it fun for you, too.
First off, I want to explain why I care so much and why I am so annoyingly enthusiastic about groceries. My biggest piece of motivation: We don’t have as much money as I’d like to spend at the store. So I have to work hard to get all we can out of what we can afford to spend. And with four little birdies chirping for snacks and drinks and all those meals in between, it does takes some work.
And I’m not perfect; I still have those weekends when I send Matt to the store with my detailed list, but overall, I purpose to get every ounce of goodness out of every cent.
But before I get into my “process,” I would love to blow your mind with a tidbit of information.
THE BIG DISCOUNTS STORES ARE RARELY, IF EVER, CHEAPER THAN THE LOCAL GUYS!!!
Shocking, right? But believe me, I’ve done the legwork. Some toiletry items are cheaper at the big retailers, but the every day, ins and outs you need for your kitchen are either the same price, cheaper or not enough cheaper at the big guys to make up for the gas you spent to get there!
So my advice to you is this: Shop locally more often. It will save you time, more than likely money and you’ll be supporting your neighbor. So here’s the plan, open up your weekly Record and take out the inserts (don’t forget to check the inside pages for ads stores place within the body of the paper). Scan the ad. Typically, the best deals are on the front cover.
I make a list of all the sale items I can’t miss. Then I create a seven-day menu incorporating the sale items and stuff I already have in my cupboards or freezer. Don’t forget to plan for snacks, desserts and breakfast items. Be exhaustingly thorough.
Also throughout the week, I keep a running list of items we’ve run out of or are about to run out of. If it’s a necessity, I buy it. If it’s luxury items, like paper products, sometimes it has to wait. (And actually, we rarely buy things like napkins, paper plates, etc. If you can live without them for awhile, you’ll never miss them!)
So now you have your grocery list (which would be most efficient if you re-wrote according to the layout of the store), now it’s time to get cash. Yes, I said it. I try to buy groceries only with cash because it hurts more. Literally.
When you’re standing in that line handing over your beautiful hard-earned $20 bills, you really start to reconsider that box of oatmeal cream pies or other “luxuries” you thought weren’t going to add that much. So you really end up spending less when you pay with cash.
Want to keep more money in your pocket? DO NOT deviate from your list. Period.
And while we’re on the things you aren’t supposed to do, do not bring coupons unless it’s for an item you were already going to buy. Never buy an item just because you have a coupon.
I rarely use coupons. Besides being a pain to keep organized, I have come to the conclusion that in most circumstances, the store-brand product is still cheaper than the name-brand product plus the coupon. And probably of equal quality!
So we’re off to shop. List. Check. Cash. Check. Calculator. Check. Yep, take the handy pocket calculator with you. You will be amazed when you break down the different costs by ounce. Some times, the bulk item is MORE expensive. The key here is knowledge. Don’t rely on the store. They want you to buy certain products, and you can tell by the signage. Calculate and compare every purchase to ensure you are getting the best deal.
My last shred of advice to you is this: Take your time. Think it through. Take advantage of big store sales. Stock up now to save later. Just make sure it’s an item that you usually use. Because you know what’s cheaper than a sale? Not buying it at all.
Happy shopping!

As seen in the Lawrence County Record
www.lawrencecountyrecord.com